One day ima gonna to Malta to bigga hotel.
Ina morning I go down at to eat a breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast.
She brings me only one piss.
I tella her I want two piss.
She say go to the toilet.
I say, you no understand, I wanna piss on my plate.
She say you better no piss onna plate, you son of a bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call me son of a bitch !!

Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant.
The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock.
I tella her I wanna di fock.
She tell me everyone wanna fock.
I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you son of a bitch.

So, I go back to my room inna hotel,
and there is no shits onna bed.
I call the manager and tell him I wanna shit.
He tell me to go to toilet.
I say you no understand, I wanna shit on my bed.
He say you better not shit onna bed, son of a bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you".
I say piss on you too, you son of a bitch.
I'm gonna back to Italia!